I feel as if I am working towards nothing, as if in the end, it would all have been for nothing. My long, hard hours of work, countless moments of dreaming, of motivation, of aspirations, of goals and aims, all for absolutely nothing. I sometimes feel like giving up, throwing my hands up and saying "I can't do this anymore! What's the point?!"
After all, I am finding it hard to cope with everything. And if I'm finding it hard, why should I go on struggling when inevitably, I have nothing to gain? Why put myself through the ordeal?
I believe that it is a very great and important quality to know one's limits, to know one's abilities and what they can or cannot do... I'm finding it increasingly hard to convince myself that I have what it takes to see this through. Especially as I face some big obstacles, bigger than you can imagine, without any exaggeration...
But then what is stopping me from admitting that to myself and leaving? What is it that refuses to back down, refuses to give up dreaming, of hoping, of achieving? What is the force that drives me on and cannot and will not be convinced of doing otherwise? On one hand I know that I am finding it hard to cope, yet on the other, my heart still doesn't see giving up as being the right thing to do.
I suppose, knowing myself, that I will in the end choose to soldier on regardless. It must be in my blood, like something built in inside of me. Whatever happens, whatever circumstances I have faced, whatever difficulties have ailed me, I have always overcome them with strength, endurance and determination. I just hope these qualities don't run out.
After all, I am finding it hard to cope with everything. And if I'm finding it hard, why should I go on struggling when inevitably, I have nothing to gain? Why put myself through the ordeal?
I believe that it is a very great and important quality to know one's limits, to know one's abilities and what they can or cannot do... I'm finding it increasingly hard to convince myself that I have what it takes to see this through. Especially as I face some big obstacles, bigger than you can imagine, without any exaggeration...
But then what is stopping me from admitting that to myself and leaving? What is it that refuses to back down, refuses to give up dreaming, of hoping, of achieving? What is the force that drives me on and cannot and will not be convinced of doing otherwise? On one hand I know that I am finding it hard to cope, yet on the other, my heart still doesn't see giving up as being the right thing to do.
I suppose, knowing myself, that I will in the end choose to soldier on regardless. It must be in my blood, like something built in inside of me. Whatever happens, whatever circumstances I have faced, whatever difficulties have ailed me, I have always overcome them with strength, endurance and determination. I just hope these qualities don't run out.
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